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“The Song She Never Knew Was About Her: Merle Haggard’s Secret Love for Dolly Parton Revealed 50 Years Later”

Introduction:

There are many legendary country songs, and there are many legendary country music performers. But there are few if any other songs in the history of country music that capture the intimate feelings one country legend had for another like Merle Haggard’s “Always Wanting You,” recorded 50 years ago today, November 26th, 1974.

Though Dolly Parton’s career might be more synonymous with her first boss Porter Wagoner, or her most legendary duet partner Kenny Rogers, for the better part of 1974 and 1975, it was Merle Haggard whose career was entwined with Dolly’s, and in more ways than one. Merle Haggard heard Dolly Parton’s song “Kentucky Gambler” about a miner who abandons his family to go gambling in Reno, and decided he needed to record it. It became a #1 for Haggard in 1974, and Dolly’s first #1 as a songwriter for someone else.

Incidentally, the Dolly Parton album that “Kentucky Gambler” appeared on called The Bargain Store also had the Merle Haggard song on it, “You’ll Always Be Special To Me.” Haggard would also later cover Dolly Parton’s song “The Seeker.” Merle and Dolly had quite a back and forth song swap going on for a while that became quite lucrative for both of the Hall of Famers.

In the mid 1970s, Merle Haggard was enjoying his heyday in country music. Most any single he chose to release was going #1, and he was one of country music’s biggest draws on the road. Meanwhile Dolly Parton had just left Porter Wagoner to start a career of her own, and opening for Merle Haggard in concert seemed like the perfect way to help get her solo career off to a big start. So already familiar from their song collaborations, the two became a touring package too.

As a touring duo, Merle and Dolly hit it off almost immediately, and when their buses would caravan to shows, Dolly often rode on Merle’s bus, or Merle would ride on Dolly’s. Many hours were spent between the two discussing the country music business and life. And as you can imagine if you’ve ever seen a photo of Dolly Parton from the mid ’70s, Merle Haggard started catching feelings.

Dolly was of course married at the time to her long-time husband Carl Dean, and Merle was married to singer and performer Bonnie Owens, formerly the wife of Buck Owens. Dolly Parton was always loyal to Carl Dean, and never let temptation creep into her heart. Merle Haggard was not quite as strong.

As time went on, Merle Haggard fell deeply in love with Dolly. And though Merle tried to hide his feelings initially, he ultimately professed how he felt to Dolly, and likely made a pass or two. But Dolly always declined, though in a way that didn’t push Merle too far away. Always the savvy businesswoman, Dolly knew getting Haggard on her bad side would not be good for her career.

It’s also fair to point out that at the time, Merle Haggard was Dolly’s senior by about 9 years, was basically her boss as the touring headliner, while Merle was also actively married. It wasn’t the best moment in Merle Haggard’s career. Combine this with the possessive nature of Porter Wagoner, and you know why Dolly’s career was forged in the fire of older men in country trying to get something from her.

Eventually, Dolly Parton became all Merle Haggard could think of. Day and night, he was obsessed with her. So what did Merle Haggard do with his unrequited love? He did what country artists do with a yearning heart: he put his emotions to music.

Merle Haggard didn’t name Dolly Parton in “Always Wanting You,” but the writing and details were 100% accurate to his state of mind. When Haggard released the song as a single on February 3rd, 1975, many of Merle and Dolly’s fellow performers had their suspicions about the song’s inspiration, and so did the public. The rumors probably didn’t hurt the popularity of the song, and soon the deeper story about what inspired Merle Haggard to write “Always Wanting You” was the worst kept secret in country music.

As time went on and especially after Merle Haggard’s divorce from Bonnie Owens in 1978, the story of “Always Wanting You” became a topic in interviews with Merle, and with Dolly. Merle eventually was forthright about the matter, and Dolly—always judicious— would simply say that Haggard was a “special friend,” and that she felt it was very sweet of him to tell her that he cared that much.

Eventually, in Merle Haggard’s autobiography Sing Me Back Home: My Own Story, he revealed that after writing “Always Wanting You” while in Reno, he called Dolly Parton on the phone at 3 am and sang the song to her, hoping it would impress her enough that she would finally give in. Once again, Dolly denied Merle’s advances.

Perhaps ironically, writing and releasing “Always Wanting You” was what finally allowed Merle to let his feelings for Dolly go. And just as ironic, it all happened in Reno, just like the story in the song “Kentucky Gambler,” written by Dolly, and recorded by Merle that went #1. Merle would later say that recording “Kentucky Gambler” was the moment he first realized that he loved Dolly. Merle took a real life gamble in Reno, and lost.

“Always Wanting You” wasn’t just a #1 song. It was a moment in time in country music history set to song chronicling Merle’s turmoil and torment trying to deal with his true feelings for Dolly.

The two remained friends throughout the years, and when Merle Haggard died in 2016, Dolly said, “We’ve lost one of the greatest writers and singers of all time. His heart was as tender as his love ballads. I loved him like a brother. Rest easy, Merle.”

Video:

https://youtu.be/5_Y5NxMmioI?si=euQfEkeMQfzqEq2H

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Merle Haggard’s childhood was becoming increasingly chaotic when something entered his life that would eventually change everything: a guitar. His older brother Lowell gave him one when Merle was around 12. Merle began teaching himself, absorbing the records and styles of country heroes such as Bob Wills, Lefty Frizzell and Hank Williams. There were no expensive lessons preparing him for Nashville. There was simply a troubled California kid listening closely and learning how another man’s sadness could live inside a melody. Merle would still make plenty of mistakes. Music didn’t instantly rescue him from running away, juvenile detention or eventually prison. But the guitar remained. Years later, millions would recognize Merle’s voice within seconds. Perhaps that’s because he wasn’t merely learning how to sing songs as a boy. He was slowly learning how to tell the truth about his own life.

Merle Haggard rarely needed to invent heartbreak. He had known it since childhood. In 1946, when Merle was only nine years old, his father, James Haggard, died following a stroke. For a boy who deeply needed his father’s presence, the loss became a turning point. His mother, Flossie, worked to support the family. Merle, meanwhile, became increasingly restless. He skipped school, ran away, got into trouble, and began a long journey through juvenile institutions that eventually led somewhere far darker. Looking back at his life, it is difficult not to see that nine-year-old boy behind many of the adult Merle Haggard’s songs. People later called him a rebel, an outlaw and a survivor. But before any of those labels existed, there was simply a grieving boy who had lost his dad—and never seemed to completely outrun that loss.

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