Introduction:
For decades, Merle Haggard and Dolly Parton shared one of country music’s most memorable friendships—a relationship filled with music, laughter, touring memories, and, on Merle’s side, an openly acknowledged admiration for one of country’s most beloved stars. Yet behind their friendship lies a fascinating story involving an unrequited crush, a surprising “love song,” and Merle Haggard’s lifelong passion for trains.
Haggard and Parton remained close friends until his death in 2016. Although Merle was married five times, his final marriage to Theresa Ann Lane lasted from 1993 until his passing. Dolly, meanwhile, had been married to Carl Dean since 1966. Over the years, rumors occasionally suggested that Merle and Dolly might have shared something more than friendship. Dolly firmly rejected those rumors, explaining that she never had an affair with Haggard and never viewed their relationship romantically.
In her 2020 book Dolly Parton, Songteller: My Life in Lyrics, Parton recalled Haggard with great affection. She acknowledged hearing that he had a crush on her but said she simply considered him a close friend. They had traveled together, spent time on the road, played cards, and enjoyed each other’s company. Dolly even said Merle reminded her of her brother Denver, reinforcing just how differently the two viewed their relationship.
Rumors about Merle’s feelings reportedly gained attention around the time he recorded Dolly’s “Kentucky Gambler” in 1975. The two also toured together during the mid-1970s, giving Haggard plenty of time to admire Dolly’s personality and talent. But while his feelings may have been romantic, Dolly’s were clearly rooted in friendship.
Still, Dolly found a way to return Merle’s affection—with a song. But it was not a romantic love song. Instead, she wrote about the love she knew Merle truly carried in his heart: his passion for trains.
That song became My Love Affair with Trains, the title track of Haggard’s 1976 album. The choice was remarkably personal. Merle’s father, Jim, worked as a carpenter for the Santa Fe Railroad before dying when Merle was only nine. Haggard also spent part of his childhood living in a converted boxcar in Oildale, California, making trains an unforgettable part of his early life.
His fascination eventually went far beyond childhood memories. In a 1995 NPR interview, Haggard explained that railroads had profoundly influenced his life and even inspired him to ride freight trains himself. He recalled journeys that ranged from only a few blocks to hundreds of miles, including what he remembered as his longest trip, from San Antonio to El Paso.
In the end, Dolly Parton may not have returned Merle Haggard’s romantic feelings, but she understood something deeply important about him. She knew what made him happy, what shaped his childhood, and what lived inside his songs. And perhaps that is what makes their story so touching: sometimes the most meaningful love songs are not about romance at all, but about knowing someone well enough to celebrate what they truly love.